Chell sat alone, with her burnt-up Companion Cube, in the middle of an endless wheat field. The weather was still perfect, a deep blue sky and puffy clouds. She wouldn’t survive long out here, unless she planned on eating nothing but wheat - the thought made her cringe. Out of curiosity, she got up and tried to bash open the locked steel door that stood between her and the Aperture Science facility. No luck, it wouldn’t budge. She grabbed her Companion Cube, which was about as heavy as her, and slammed it with all of her effort, the only sound coming from her was a brief grunt, but no words. Still, no luck, but this time she’d left a small visible dent in the door. Chell sighed in frustration, and laid down on her back by the door, and started to fade away. It was best that she’d conserve her energy, if she were ever to find her way out of this wheat field or back into the facility.
She had awoken to a loud bang, followed by a small gust of air. The door was open! She pulled herself up, feeling a it lacking of sleep, considering the last time she slept lasted 9,999,999 days. A loud gibberish of snarling and growling caught her attention as she immediately turned her head into the door, to see a standing robot, like the short and wide one she saw last time she was with her. This wasn’t the same robot, though! The robot she saw in the door, instead of the blue-eyed co-operative testing initiative, had a red eye.... no way, she thought, I incinerated him/her before all those days in suspension! How is he back? “ARRGHLARGH BLEEEGH” it shouted, and shot a purple portal that carried both of them back into her - GLaDOS’ core room, abandoning the one in millions of Companion Cubes, to find a decapitated robot body. “What are you doing here?” she asked in her usual hostile tone. “I’d just kicked you out, and - well, I guess I should put that behind me now.” Chell turned her head to the other side of her room, to find her large head trapped in the body of that tall, slim robot. “As it turns out, my head has the exact same port as the co-operative testing initiative bots. Go ahead, laugh at me, I can’t even walk properly... not that I could in my old body.. or that potato.” Chell had to resist a snicker. Even though she was almost crushed by a blue-eyed sphere with a British accent, it was a bit funny to see her stuck in a talking potato. “Oh, no... him... I guess I should explain this now... the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator remains at a consistent temperature of 3999 Kelvin. All Aperture equipment can handle a temperature of up to 4000 Kelvin, so he and all the other spheres survived. I have no idea how he got into the body of ATLAS though. And now I’m stuck in P-Body.” So those were their names! “Core corruption at ninety seven percent!” went the automated announcer voice. “What the hell- oh no! The corrupted cores! I forgot there were so many of them, and now they’re after me for throwing them out!” A voice came from behind her. “Hey, it’s you, again! You’re that lady! Heh, heh. I saw what you did with that guy, knocked him right into space! You’ve got some good stuff, miss! Maybe we can go on an adventure together again some time!”
“Fact: You and Rick the Adventure Sphere will never go on an adventure again. Key times lock equals open. The favorite food of Japanese military commander Hideki Tojo was fried chicken.” “Shut up, you stupid corrupt core!” she said petulantly, “Those aren’t even real facts!” She shook P-Body’s left fist which was now serving as her own. “Fact: You are a heartless, destructive AI who is more concerned for science than the people it serves.” “What does that matter anymore, there ARE no people now!” “Fact: You just implied that the test subject before you is not a person. Fact: Although she is a person she gave her rights away for science so we must continue testing.” “That is WRONG,” she said, “I kicked her out for a reason. She was nothing but a walking accident and science would advance no further if I kept her around!”
“Girls, girls! Rick interrupted, “The young lady can stay, don’t ruin the party!”
“SSSSSPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!”
The scream was followed by a huge crash, right next to the gang of cores. “Space.. space... I’m back from space! Space.. so big.. amazing... atmosphere.. almost burned.. don’t touch.. too hot... from coming back from space. Space trial... NOT GUILTY, been in space!”
“Oh, him again? Look, can we just get done with this little sphere reunion and put me back in my body... for science?”
“Sience... Space! Science is in space. You want science - go to space - hey - lady - get me back to space. Oh, is that Saturn? Saturn! Enceladus! Lady! Let’s go to Enceladus! Mimas! Titan! OOH, Titan! Tethys! Tethys? Saturn moons.. Saturn rings... Saturn.. Gas giant..”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Rick interrupted again, “I can see you’re up for an adventure but be realistic! We can’t go to some obscure planet, or moon that I couldn’t name! Let’s try a jungle, or a a canyon!”
“No... Space! Space is best! We’re on Earth... Earth... part of space... one moon... several artificial satellites... sun... Alpha Centauri! Four light years-”
“JAPAN! Rice... rice fields... rice patties. Sake! Katana! Shounen manga!” It stared at Chell with its brown eye.
“Oh, I forgot... This is the sphere they made dedicated entirely to Japan. Well, TECHNICALLY I didn’t forget, I can’t, because I store all these things away. It had just been so long... when you were just a child. It was never installed, of course, I’m already fluent in Japanese. He was in the very bottom of that pile of corrupt cores, so he never helped with that one fight.” “Hey - you. Do you want to go to Japan with me? Honda! Yamaha! Casio! Oooh, have you been to Tokyo? Tokyo is amazing! Tokyo is amazing! Tokyo is ama-” “Fact: LG and Samsung are Japanese” “Wrong! They are not! LG and Samsung are located not in Japan - they are located in - I do not know this information as it is not Japan-related.” She gave out a sigh... “LG and Samsung are located in Seoul, South Korea, and stop blurting out your annoying facts! Now that we have that covered, can we please get this done with!” A panel opened below her, and as her core, trapped in P-Body, plummeted to the pit below. A loud, musical-sounding scream echoed upward from below.
“Deploying sake vents in san... ni... ichi...” Chell fell flat to the floor, to wake up in the relaxation vault, now clean and refurbished. Traditional Japanese music was playing on the radio that had originally played a mix of “Still Alive.” “Konnichiwa, and welcome to the Aperture Science Japan-Sphere-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. The shoji wall will open in san... ni... ichi...”
Two Japanese sliding doors replaced the portal wall when she was first in the chamber. When they opened, forever, there was still an orange portal behind the two shoji walls. Somehow, everything in the chamber looked more... Japanese - The chamber locks replaced with more shojis, and the floors replaced with tatami mats. The two walls slid apart to unveil a room full to the ceiling with bamboo. “Please navigate the chamber through the Aperture Science Fast-Growing Wood Alternative.” It meant the bamboo. Easy enough, she supposed. As soon as she stepped on the first tatami, a voice made her jump. “Enough of this Japanese nonsense! Bamboo is not purple! Bamboo is green! How dare you insult purple by placing something GREEN in a WHITE test chamber! Where is the PURPLE, you sake-drinking brown-eyed sphere! Make way for the PURPLE!” And Chell had passed out again, into purple-filled darkness. The last thing she heard was "Hey- HEY! What about Japan! I'm sure there's plenty of purple in - " then she was out.
She had awoken to a loud bang, followed by a small gust of air. The door was open! She pulled herself up, feeling a it lacking of sleep, considering the last time she slept lasted 9,999,999 days. A loud gibberish of snarling and growling caught her attention as she immediately turned her head into the door, to see a standing robot, like the short and wide one she saw last time she was with her. This wasn’t the same robot, though! The robot she saw in the door, instead of the blue-eyed co-operative testing initiative, had a red eye.... no way, she thought, I incinerated him/her before all those days in suspension! How is he back? “ARRGHLARGH BLEEEGH” it shouted, and shot a purple portal that carried both of them back into her - GLaDOS’ core room, abandoning the one in millions of Companion Cubes, to find a decapitated robot body. “What are you doing here?” she asked in her usual hostile tone. “I’d just kicked you out, and - well, I guess I should put that behind me now.” Chell turned her head to the other side of her room, to find her large head trapped in the body of that tall, slim robot. “As it turns out, my head has the exact same port as the co-operative testing initiative bots. Go ahead, laugh at me, I can’t even walk properly... not that I could in my old body.. or that potato.” Chell had to resist a snicker. Even though she was almost crushed by a blue-eyed sphere with a British accent, it was a bit funny to see her stuck in a talking potato. “Oh, no... him... I guess I should explain this now... the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator remains at a consistent temperature of 3999 Kelvin. All Aperture equipment can handle a temperature of up to 4000 Kelvin, so he and all the other spheres survived. I have no idea how he got into the body of ATLAS though. And now I’m stuck in P-Body.” So those were their names! “Core corruption at ninety seven percent!” went the automated announcer voice. “What the hell- oh no! The corrupted cores! I forgot there were so many of them, and now they’re after me for throwing them out!” A voice came from behind her. “Hey, it’s you, again! You’re that lady! Heh, heh. I saw what you did with that guy, knocked him right into space! You’ve got some good stuff, miss! Maybe we can go on an adventure together again some time!”
“Fact: You and Rick the Adventure Sphere will never go on an adventure again. Key times lock equals open. The favorite food of Japanese military commander Hideki Tojo was fried chicken.” “Shut up, you stupid corrupt core!” she said petulantly, “Those aren’t even real facts!” She shook P-Body’s left fist which was now serving as her own. “Fact: You are a heartless, destructive AI who is more concerned for science than the people it serves.” “What does that matter anymore, there ARE no people now!” “Fact: You just implied that the test subject before you is not a person. Fact: Although she is a person she gave her rights away for science so we must continue testing.” “That is WRONG,” she said, “I kicked her out for a reason. She was nothing but a walking accident and science would advance no further if I kept her around!”
“Girls, girls! Rick interrupted, “The young lady can stay, don’t ruin the party!”
“SSSSSPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!”
The scream was followed by a huge crash, right next to the gang of cores. “Space.. space... I’m back from space! Space.. so big.. amazing... atmosphere.. almost burned.. don’t touch.. too hot... from coming back from space. Space trial... NOT GUILTY, been in space!”
“Oh, him again? Look, can we just get done with this little sphere reunion and put me back in my body... for science?”
“Sience... Space! Science is in space. You want science - go to space - hey - lady - get me back to space. Oh, is that Saturn? Saturn! Enceladus! Lady! Let’s go to Enceladus! Mimas! Titan! OOH, Titan! Tethys! Tethys? Saturn moons.. Saturn rings... Saturn.. Gas giant..”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Rick interrupted again, “I can see you’re up for an adventure but be realistic! We can’t go to some obscure planet, or moon that I couldn’t name! Let’s try a jungle, or a a canyon!”
“No... Space! Space is best! We’re on Earth... Earth... part of space... one moon... several artificial satellites... sun... Alpha Centauri! Four light years-”
“JAPAN! Rice... rice fields... rice patties. Sake! Katana! Shounen manga!” It stared at Chell with its brown eye.
“Oh, I forgot... This is the sphere they made dedicated entirely to Japan. Well, TECHNICALLY I didn’t forget, I can’t, because I store all these things away. It had just been so long... when you were just a child. It was never installed, of course, I’m already fluent in Japanese. He was in the very bottom of that pile of corrupt cores, so he never helped with that one fight.” “Hey - you. Do you want to go to Japan with me? Honda! Yamaha! Casio! Oooh, have you been to Tokyo? Tokyo is amazing! Tokyo is amazing! Tokyo is ama-” “Fact: LG and Samsung are Japanese” “Wrong! They are not! LG and Samsung are located not in Japan - they are located in - I do not know this information as it is not Japan-related.” She gave out a sigh... “LG and Samsung are located in Seoul, South Korea, and stop blurting out your annoying facts! Now that we have that covered, can we please get this done with!” A panel opened below her, and as her core, trapped in P-Body, plummeted to the pit below. A loud, musical-sounding scream echoed upward from below.
“Deploying sake vents in san... ni... ichi...” Chell fell flat to the floor, to wake up in the relaxation vault, now clean and refurbished. Traditional Japanese music was playing on the radio that had originally played a mix of “Still Alive.” “Konnichiwa, and welcome to the Aperture Science Japan-Sphere-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. The shoji wall will open in san... ni... ichi...”
Two Japanese sliding doors replaced the portal wall when she was first in the chamber. When they opened, forever, there was still an orange portal behind the two shoji walls. Somehow, everything in the chamber looked more... Japanese - The chamber locks replaced with more shojis, and the floors replaced with tatami mats. The two walls slid apart to unveil a room full to the ceiling with bamboo. “Please navigate the chamber through the Aperture Science Fast-Growing Wood Alternative.” It meant the bamboo. Easy enough, she supposed. As soon as she stepped on the first tatami, a voice made her jump. “Enough of this Japanese nonsense! Bamboo is not purple! Bamboo is green! How dare you insult purple by placing something GREEN in a WHITE test chamber! Where is the PURPLE, you sake-drinking brown-eyed sphere! Make way for the PURPLE!” And Chell had passed out again, into purple-filled darkness. The last thing she heard was "Hey- HEY! What about Japan! I'm sure there's plenty of purple in - " then she was out.
